“But I guess ultimately what scares me about marriage is where do you find this person? You know a lot of times, most successful relationships, people meet through work, school, mutual friends. But what’s most interesting to me is when people just meet in life, just randomly. You know, I have a friend, he got married, I asked him like “Hey, uh, where’d you meet your wife?” He was like “I was leaving Bed, Bath & Beyond. I was looking for my car - I drive a gray Prius. I saw a different gray Prius, I thought it was mine, I walked up to it, I realized I had the wrong car, but I bumped into Carol, we started talking, that was that”. That’s unbelievable. Think about all the random factors that had to come together to make this one moment possible - this one moment that changed these two people’s entire lives: First off, this guy has to live in this particular town. Then he has to get a gray Prius. Then he has to need to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then he has to go to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then there has to be another guy who also lives in town, also drives a gray Prius, also needs to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond, also goes to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond at around the same time. Then they have to both park somewhat near each other, my friend has to leave before the other guy leaves, see the wrong Prius, think it’s his, walk up to it. Then the woman, Carol, needs to be near the wrong gray Prius for a million other random reasons. They bump into each other, they start talking, their entire lives are changed. That’s the most amazing and terrifying thing about life. It is, cause the amazing thing is that at any moment, any one of us can have that moment that totally changes our lives. You could be leaving the show tonight, bump into someone… it could change your life. You don’t know, that could happen. The terrifying thing is… what if we’re all supposed to be at Bed Bath & Beyond right now?”

Aziz Ansari, Buried Alive (via larmoyante)


September 18 | 9:54 | 21934♥ | jenawithonen | larmoyante

put-that-in-barry:

I have never in my life seen this image photoshopped as the guy wanted it


September 18 | 9:51 | 184802♥ | dulect | 180mph

September 18 | 9:47 | 133661♥ | eversolewd | iraffiruse

vaguelyjewish:

testoster0ne:

how do woman not orgasm when inserting tampons.

like isn’t just like having sex idgi?

This sounds like a Mitt Romney diary entry.


September 18 | 9:46 | 508543♥ | dulect | basedyeeezus

September 18 | 9:45 | 26950♥ | eversolewd | daysrunaway

September 18 | 9:38 | 356♥ | baebly | weheartit.com

September 17 | 9:18 | 272478♥ | coquettishkitten

September 17 | 9:18 | 9232♥ | moonedyou | boyx

neverlaur:

neverlaur:

bowlingforwhoop:

neverlaur:

So my Dad and brother took separate cars to dinner tonight, and this happened.

they look like they are arguing about who is going to go home and change

Oh, they were.

Jake: You’ve got to be kidding me
Dad: You SAW me walk through the kitchen on my way to pick up your sister!
Jake: No seriously do you have an extra shirt in your car this is ridiculous

Oh my god they’re gonna kill me they didn’t want to even walk into the restaurant together let alone have this many people reblog this photo


kushandwizdom:

ThisLoveQuote


September 16 | 5:47 | 55068♥ | kushandwizdom
Anonymous:strippers are so fucking dirty

fuckmestupid:

Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the sound of your dad leaving your family every weekend to come make it rain on me. 


September 16 | 5:41 | 34800♥ | existancee | fuckmestupid

September 16 | 5:40 | 35759♥ | existancee | endlessblossom

jaclcfrost:

"why do you like floral prints so much" because i’m not a person. secretly i’m just a mass of bees. trying to blend in with humans. unable to let go of my love of flowers


September 16 | 5:36 | 119009♥ | joshpeck | jaclcfrost

tchmo, Untitled (ANDY’S CIRCLE) 20120710r


September 16 | 5:36 | 5548♥ | jimmorrison1969 | andyscircle
SML